Because I have been going through a divorce over the last year I have started using photography as a way to express my feelings to help me through this difficult time.  I take photos with the camera on my mobile phone because it is accessible without having to set up equipment and spend money on materials. This has helped me take my mind off my problems at the same time I feel I am progressing with my art work.

If I have a problem that I can’t solve I tend to find it hard to put it down until I have found some sort of positive outcome. Because of this I work myself into a state of stress so I can’t go to sleep and in the end I stay up all night being upset and still not find any solutions. When I have found myself still awake at this time I realise my attention shifts from my problems to getting excited about something special about to happen, the sunrise.

I am very lucky that my flat has a balcony overlooking the sea and the South Downs, I don’t get views of the sunset from here, but I am happy to have the sun rise as it always feels like a more personal experience because you know most people are tucked up in bed dreaming their dreams.

I feel like an honorary witness to the sun creating a temporary master piece, painting the dawn with soft soothing hues of powdery pinks and purples braking into bright golden blue, allowing the dark night clouds to slowly reveal their silver linings. I put my mind into another place and start to feel better, then stop panicking and make a bit of space for silence, so I can hear the birds singing their morning blessings.  At this point, I have completely forgotten about my problems and feel the urge to capture the unique event with my camera.

When I start being creative and absorbed in what I am doing, I connect with a deeper part of me and this is when I get the resolution I was looking for and create space in the situation, so I can understand what is going on without hurting. I also feel empowered that I have captured all the things I couldn’t deal with and transformed them into something beautiful.

Images: Photographs at night and sunrise, Jane Hawley.